


this shouldn't be a lonely time

by Darling in Devildom (kylobenrensolo)



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Issues, Gift Exchange, Gift Fic, I am asked for Angst I give Angst, Mans is SAD, Obey Me Secret Santa 2020, Please Someone I Beg of You Give Satan A Hug, Satan/Amanda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28214352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylobenrensolo/pseuds/Darling%20in%20Devildom
Summary: The holidays are supposed to be about family and spending time together, so why does Satan keep running away?Obey Me Secret Santa 2020 Gift (to Amanda!)
Relationships: Main Character/Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	this shouldn't be a lonely time

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> This one goes out to Amanda! I was her Obey Me Secret Santa this year! She asked for Satan angst with a fluff ending and I think I delivered pretty well, to be honest. I Know I cried writing it, at least.
> 
> I hope you enjoy and have a happy holiday!

It’s easy to forget sometimes that, despite being the fourth eldest, Satan was truly the newest member of the family. He may have been a silent observer longer than his younger brothers existed, but he was never able to completely put aside the fact that he didn’t truly… belong.

Satan was already a demon of few words. He was probably the quietest brother in the house and if you ever needed an escape from the others, his room was a solace. And of course, he loved having you around. You were a jokester, always laughing about something. As much as he loved the comfort of silence, your energy was contagious. But… things were different lately. You could sense it in him.

“Amandaaa~ look what I got for youuu!”

Asmo might as well have brought the door down with him when he entered the house. He bounded excitedly through the hall until he reached the study where a few of you were adjoined. You and Beel were on the couch, lazily talking about whatever popped into your head while Mammon absentmindedly flipped a coin of Grimm and Satan glanced through his newest read that came in. Everyone flinched with the sudden intrusion and gave Asmo a cold look as he stood in the entryway.

“Woah! Looks like that at a thing of such beauty should be a crime!”

You shook your head, sitting up straighter on the couch to see Asmo and his hands full of shopping bags more clearly.

“Whatcha get, Asmo?”

He giggled before slowly reaching into the bag for dramatic effect and whipping out a red and white fluffy item.

“It’s a Santa hat! Humans love these things, right? Sometimes they even wear sexy little outfits with them, I’ve heard.” He shot a wink in your direction and before you could let out a scoff at his translucent attempts at seduction, the sound of a book closing and a blonde mop of hair exiting the room caught your attention. You went to stand to catch up with him, but Asmo’s arm around yours guiding you to his room to find a matching outfit pulled you away while Mammon barked behind him to leave you alone. You made a mental note to catch up with him later.

At dinner, Lucifer caught up with everyone, checking in on their school and house tasks. Even during winter break, he demanded each of them have an assignment due at the return of their studies. You happened to catch a glance at Satan while Lucifer lectured Belphie for falling asleep mid-laundry duty. His head rested heavily on his hand, elbow positioned next to his plate while his other hand moved the food on his plate around. He caught your stare suddenly and gave you a confused, awaiting look. That’s when you realized the rest of the brothers had been staring as well.

“Amanda. I asked you how your assignment is going. Did you choose a topic?” Lucifer raised his brow, slightly annoyed at having to repeat himself. And that you chose to ignore him to stare at his brother. You cleared your throat and nodded.

“Yes, I did. It’s going well so far.”

Lucifer gave a pleased hum at your answer and looked back around the table at his brothers.

“This year, Diavolo would like to have a quiet, sit-down holiday meal with all of us. He knows how much work and effort everything was last year and would like to reward us by taking care of everything… much to my dismay. I don’t think any of you work hard enough as it is. Regardless, we will all be working together to find him the perfect present. You should all add that to your list of tasks and report back to me by the end of the week with your ideas. You are dismissed when you’re finished.”

A full plate still in his hands, Satan stood and hastily made his way to the kitchen. You looked around the table, hoping to see if anyone had any sort of explanation for his abrupt leave, but they were already back to their usual antics. You went to follow suit, but Levi suddenly perked up from his D.D.D. game.

“H-hey! Wait, Amanda! You promised I could tell you about the new anime I’m watching, _I’m A Demon and My Brother’s Don’t Realize I Get Terribly Depressed During the Holiday Season but Our Human Companion is Starting to Get Suspicious and I’m Worried They Will Make Me Talk About It_ , during dinner.” You gave him a weak smile and sat back down, occasionally glancing at the doorway to the kitchen, hoping Satan may reappear. You didn’t see him for the rest of the night.

The next day, you woke up determined to find out what was going on with him. Sure, he kept to himself mainly and didn’t care to be involved in squabbles and pranks (unless it involved Lucifer), but this was something different. Unfortunately for you, upon opening your door, you ran straight into a white-haired moron with a roll of duct tape in his mouth, attempting to stick something to your door frame. He yelped, falling backward from the impact and his surprise. A piece of green shrubbery fell to your feet. You picked it up to inspect it.

“Mistletoe, Mammon?” His cheeks lit up a bright red, especially when he turned his head to see a clearly unslept, disheveled Satan standing at the end of the hall watching the scene unfold. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the second eldest scurrying away like a mouse down the opposite end of the corridor, but a soft sigh and the sound of receding footsteps at the other end drew you back to your original task.

“Hey, Satan! Satan!”

He rounded the corner towards his room, continuing despite clearly hearing your calls.

“Satan! Come on! Wait up!”

You ran after him, catching up, right as you could see his door about to click closed. You pressed a hard hand to it, keeping it open enough that your chestnut eyes met his emerald ones. Now that you were close enough, you could see the dark circles of unrest under his eyes and an unfamiliar pained expression blanketing his face.

“Satan… please… let me in. What’s wrong?” He pressed his forehead to the cool wood of his door, letting out another soft sigh, before stepping back to allow you just enough room to slip inside. You closed the door gently behind you before realizing Satan had already made his way over to his bed. He was there, but his mind was clearly elsewhere the way he stared off into a pile of books across the room. With light footsteps and calm breaths, you settled yourself next to him on his bed, hoping not to push your luck with his letting you in. There were a few quiet moments before he spoke.

“Why do they make such a big deal about the holidays?”

It was barely above a whisper. Your face warped to confusion. Did he not like the holidays or something?

“Hmm?” You managed, urging him to continue.

“I think they forget sometimes. My brothers… they have all these traditions, you know? Things they do every year to celebrate. Things they’ve been doing since long before I was even an idea. When I was… born… they tried their best to include me. But, I think they saw it like I was trying to be a Lilith replacement. A new sibling to fill her place. I think it made them resentful, so I ended up sitting a lot of things out. It seems like the holidays start a lot earlier every year now. Things are a lot different now than then, but it’s always a reminder that I’m not truly… their brother. Just something that was… forced upon them in their most painful time.”

You sat quietly for a moment, trying to absorb his words, but a shaky breath drew your attention back to his face. His cheeks were wet and his eyes were pressed closed like he was hoping he could squeeze them tight enough and all the thoughts flooding his head would go away. The only thing that eased him into reopening them was your hands, soft and delicate, on his, rubbing small, comforting circles. Even then, he avoided your sympathetic eyes.

“Oh, Satan… I had no idea.”

He shook his head, sniffling and withdrawing his hands from yours.

“Please don’t pity me. I am an accidental creation and this is my curse for it.” He said, a little more steadily, attempting to dismiss his opening up to you.

“Hey, stop. You don’t have to do that. I don’t pity you, Satan.” You grabbed his hands more instantly, pulling them towards you and finally forcing him to meet your gaze once more. “I can’t speak for your brothers, but I’m sure they would be sad if they knew you felt this way. They love you so much, I can tell. And as far as traditions… I won’t lie. I have traditions back home. I miss them a lot right about now. But, I know here is where I need to be right now… with you.”

His eyes shimmered with sadness, but also something akin to hope. Hope that for the first time, he could feel at home. At home with someone just as misplaced as he was. One of his hands moved from yours, placing itself on the soft skin of your cheek. His eyes searched yours for any sign of faltering, expecting to find something pulling away from him, but he didn’t. You had never seemed more sure of anything and neither was he when he carefully pulled you to him pressing your lips together. The soft security of yours was met with the shaky nervousness of his, salt of his tears hitting your mouth.

You almost gave into the sob you held in the back of your throat for him, but you knew he was the one who needed the comfort now. He pulled back, letting out an exasperated breath, all his stress and worries falling out with it. His forehead rested peacefully against yours, his eyes still closed, taking in gentle breaths before letting them open and meeting yours.

“T-thank you.”

You gave him your warmest smile before carefully standing and holding out both your hands for his. He stared at them for a moment before giving you a confused look.

“Come on, we’re gonna go make some traditions of our own.”

He chuckled lightly, wiping his face with his sleeve, before using your hands to stand and steady himself. It wasn’t until he wrapped his arm around your shoulders as you exited his room that the giggles and blushes set in of your first kiss together.

He intended to make that the first tradition.


End file.
